Swearing-In

On May 7, 2009 I swore-in into the Illinois State Bar. Our ceremony was on Navy Pier in the Grand Ballroom in the back of the Pier. My mom flew in from California to be with me during the ceremony. It was actually more exciting for her than me. Haha.

The Illinois Supreme Court Judges were present at the ceremony and swore us in. It's funny because we go to lawschool for 3 years, then study for the bar for about 2-3 months, and at the end, if we are lucky, we swear-in. You would think after all that we would be a little bit more exited about our accomplishments. While the judges were explaining to us how prestigious our profession is and how we must uphold the rights of the people, I had a hard time focusing because I realized that school was over, I had taken the bar, and now I am a lawyer. I had been a student for 8 years (undergrad and lawschool) and now I am being sworn-in to be an attorney. I started to feel a lot of pressure. I had to get a job, figure out what I wanted to do with my life, and start paying for my own expenses (no more loan money to depend on), and actually start paying back all those loans. Soon people would be asking me if I am going to get married and have kids. My heart started beating really fast and I broke out in a sweat. My eyes started to water but I held it back so my mom wouldn't see. It was very overwhelming.

I kept thinking if I made the right decision to come to Chicago and take the Illinois Bar. Whether it would take long for me to find a job and start making some money. Since I really didn't know anyone in Chicago, I wondered if I would make friends soon and form a social circle in a city I had never lived in before. Man, winter sucked! All these things were going through my head. Finally, it was time to stand up, raise our right hands, and take the oath of admission. It was a very proud day for my mom and for all the parents, friends, and family that joined the admittants.

The ceremony was over and as we left the hall I saw my classmates from lawschool who swore in with me. Everyone had big smiles on their faces, but if you looked closely, there was some doubt and unease in their eyes about what the future had in stock for us.

I still wonder if Chicago is for me. I really haven't found myself in this city. I hope with time, things will get better, after all, I studied 8 years to be where I am now...